Closet Rebel

I enjoy writing, but I do not like the whole idea of having a journal. Just the thought that this journal is currently sitting somewhere in my house where somebody can just pick it up and start reading completely freaks me out. I do not like the fact that if someone were to read this journal, they would know EVERYTHING that happened to me and how I was feeling at these moments. Eek. There are just some things that people don’t need to know… >.>   

However, ever since I participated in the Every 15 Minutes program and went to prom, I can’t stop writing. There are so many memories that I think I am afraid I will forget…Or maybe I am getting this weird inspiration from some teachers who are trying to convince me that I will write an autobiography some day. O_o

Okay, yes. I am fully aware that Every 15 Minutes and prom produce completely contrasting emotions; however, I have never felt such intense emotions until those  two nights. 

I don’t think I have ever cried and opened up about my fears that much in my life until I took part in E15M. I was so psychologically disturbed that I couldn’t find myself. I couldn’t think straight. Suddenly, those stressful essays and tests scores turned into nothing. I didn’t care about those things. All I cared about were my friends, my family, and anybody else who has been close to me in my lifetime.

On the other hand, I don’t think I have ever been happier than I was at prom…I hate saying this, but…I have been thinking about prom more than I have been thinking about PSU lately. Yes. Something is wrong. ;P But in all honesty, it was a Cinderella moment. I have always set myself to feel awkward at school dances; however, having a prom date that seemed remotely interested in having a good time, changed it all for me. I did not feel the least bit awkward. 

Sigh. See? Here I go again…This was supposed to be a short little post. Maybe a paragraph, right? Heh. Try again. 

No wonder the softball team made me shorten my senior write-up on senior night…

So if you want to know what has been circling my mind these past few weeks, there ya go. And no…sadly, graduation has not crossed my mind…yet.